Friday, August 13, 2010

Striving to abide in Christ as a new Mamma...

This week I came across this passage of scripture in my quiet time....

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 1:1-8

I am definitely in a very new season of my life and the Lord continues to grow me in so many areas that I never ever imagined possible. He continues to reveal to me more of Himself through the day to day life of motherhood.
I've always been the type of person who loves to have a very structured routine, a checklist that's completed by the end of the day and goals that are always accomplished. Not that any of these are bad qualities to have...but the Lord is continuing to refine me and teach me that HE is the center of my "to do" list and HE has a specific agenda for me each a wife, as a mamma, as a friend, as a mentor, as a neighbor, as a daughter, as a sister... Sometimes, life won't be so easy and predictable.....but HE is in control and holding every detail in His hand. I'm learning that as I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit....He has an agenda each day for me as I strive fulfill each of these roles.
Little Isabella teaches me so many things each day......her dependence on me, her love for life, her sweet spirit, her contagious smile.....I long to have more of those qualities as I put my full dependence in the Lord and trust Him each day. I'm seeing more and more that His agenda for our day is so much more fulfilling than my own! There have been circumstances in the past few weeks where I've had our day planned out just so....and then I see the Lord throw a curve ball. I've seen the Lord allow me to have sweet fellowship with younger girls who I am mentoring when I've been sensitive to His agenda for my day. Rather than rushing to have the house "just so" or the bathrooms "perfectly clean"......I've tried to be sensitive to the agenda the Lord may have for me.....and oh, how I've been blessed! I've seen the Lord provide for us financially after crunching our monthly budget and coming up short. There have been countless times when after paying bills and crunching our budget....I walk to the mailbox to find a check or gift card! He our Jehovah-jireh...our Provider!

I'm learning more and more what it means to abide in have sweet fellowship with Him each and every day. This is a season of life where my time with Him has not been quite as structured as the past.....but I'm telling you - I have had some of the sweetest, more meaningful times of prayer and worship as I learn to abide with Him and dwell on His Word. My quiet times with Him used to be very they are much more creative as my days are often busy with little Bella. We read scripture together, worship together......listen to sermons during feeding times.....listen to music through out the day. I am reminded of the Lord's sovereignty and beauty each time I look into her sweet little eyes. I praise my Jesus for this sweet season of life as I strive to know Him more and be used by Him in ways I may not be able to imagine right now as I walk with Him and abide in Him each day.

Before little Bella was born I made a CD of worship songs that I wanted to listen to during labor....I quickly found out that I did not want any loud music during labor..... :) but - I recently stumbled upon the CD while driving on one of our many summer trips. I suppose that it got scratched during the stay at the hospital because the only song that plays on the CD is this song....."Captivated" by Watermark......So, we listen to it over and over - usually Bella falls asleep to it.....and I just pray these lyrics for our sweet family as we experience this new season of life together........

"Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars.
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars.

"Your loving arms they draw me near
And your smile it brings me peace.
Draw me closer, oh my Lord.
Draw me closer, Lord, to Thee.

"Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You

"Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide

"You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord,
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

"Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You

"Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I'm bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy,
Your burden is light
You're full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You

"Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You"

I praise Him for bringing purpose to my life each and every day.....for being all-powerful, my healer, the giver of life, my sustainer, loving me unconditionally, giving peace, faith and hope and I'm thankful beyond words for the privilege to hold His hand as I walk through life!

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